Whyyyy?

Dass du dich ploetzlich nach quasi mehr als einem Jahr meldest, hat mich ziemlich ueberrascht. Ich bin aber trotzdem froh darueber und es tat gut mit dir zu reden. Ganz normal zu reden. Ein normales Gespraech zu fuehren. Wie in alten Zeiten, aber doch irgendwie anders. Du wirst wahrscheinlich niemals verstehen, wieviel mir das bedeutet hat. Vor allem, dass du dich mit "Bis dann - wir schreiben :*" verabschiedet hast, gibt mir in irgendeiner Weise Hoffnung. Ich freu mich auf dich, glaub mir das, denn ich habe dich nie vergessen koennen, PMLVW.

Ich glaube, es zu wagen, macht unglaublich viel Sinn

...weil ich alles was sich uns in den Weg stellt mit unsrer' Liebe niederring.

Ich haette niemals gedacht, dass ich jemals Gefuehle fuer dich entwickeln wuerde.
Ja.. und nun tut es mir furchtbar leid, dass ich dir damals quasi falsche Hoffnungen gemacht habe. Ich bin unendlich dankbar, dass du mir noch diese eine Chance gibst, obwohl du allen Grund dazu haettest, mir zu misstrauen. Ich bin mir darueber im Klaren, dass uns nicht mehr viel Zeit bleibt.. leider. Wir sollten trotzdem das Beste daraus machen..

Nicholas? Love you ♥

February 19, 2013

"Why did you start to ignore me?"

- "What else could I do? Just the thought of being around you tore my heart to pieces." 

Waddup

<Justin3

you just make me smile. all the time. everyday. with everything you say. you're the loveliest person I know and I'm so glad to have you. I'm so glad to cuddle with you all night, and to kiss you whenever I want to. you're the only thing I think about before I go to bed. I think about you while I'm asleep and you're the first thing I think of when I wake up. I just fall for you every day. more and more. It feels like I found the person that I've always missed in my life.

What if?

I'm just so confused. I wish everything would've turned out different. You're my best friend and I love you with all my heart, because you're someone who is always here for me, listens to me, and makes me smile every day. "I feel so close to you right now" - Yes, I do. But I wonder if we feel more for each other.. and I kinda think this is more than just a best-friend-friendship.. that we wanna be more than friends. I mean the way we look at each other, the way we talk to each other. You told me you never met anyone in your life like me. You told me that no one has ever made you feel like I do. That I make you feel wanted, that I always find a way to make you smile, and that the best part of your day every day is seeing me. You told me that I make you happy. But on the other side you're just afraid. You're afraid to fall for me. You said I shouldn't let you get attached, if I'm gonna end up leaving you. I just want you to know, that I feel the same way. That you make me so unbelievable happy and all the other things, but that I'm just super afraid. I just want you to know that I'd never really leave you, I couldn't let you go..

I'm so glad I found someone who actually cares about me. I'm so glad I have you.. because it feels like you're the person I was always looking for..

Everyday the same dream

I can't wait for the end of this semester. Just wanna have different classes and meet new people. Probably I'm just so dissatisfied with everything because of Christmas-time.. + the weather is changing, it's cold outside, and the only thing I wanna do is having someone to cuddle with and just be happy for a while. Sometimes I am so damn home sick that I just wanna take the next plane back to Germany. Sometimes everything I want is my mother and a big hug. Mum? I love you